


Tis the Season (To Drive Declan Crazy)

by sonofahutmaker



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Humor, M/M, also for future chapters probably, more angst than you might expect, rated for language
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-05-23 03:25:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 5,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6103243
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sonofahutmaker/pseuds/sonofahutmaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adam cleared his throat, “was that what you were arguing about? Inviting me to the Barns for Christmas? Ronan, that’s so…You didn’t have to do that-”<br/>“Okay chill Tiny Tim, I didn’t save Christmas,” Ronan interrupted harshly, “the true Christmas miracle comes with the screwing-with-Declan part of the plan.”   </p><p>(Ronan invites Adam to the Barns for Christmas as his fake date in order to screw with Declan's plans.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue (The Birth of a Plan)

**Author's Note:**

> The holiday fake-dating multichapter fic no one asked for but I was happy to provide. Also why do I love the idea of Ronan and Adam messing with Declan so much?

Ronan was usually at his most irritated when he was forced to actually use his cellphone, so it came as no surprise to Adam when the first thing out of Ronan’s mouth upon hanging up from a mostly yelled conversation with his older brother was, “You wanna screw with Declan?”.

  
“No, you want to screw with Declan,” Adam looked up from his calculus homework, “and what was that all about anyway?”

  
Ronan’s only reply was a growled “Christmas.” Adam went back to his homework.

  
It was about an hour later when the subject was broached again. Adam had finished his homework and lay sprawled out across his bed, somehow fitting despite Ronan’s upside-down presence on the small mattress, the laws of physics and logic succumbing to the extreme laziness currently felt by both boys. His feet dangerously close to Adam’s face, Ronan spit out, “so what about it? Christmas at the Barns I mean.” Adam propped himself up on his elbows to look at Ronan speaking from the opposite end of the bed. Ronan continued to stare at the ceiling, “Look, you don’t have to or anything but I know this is your first Christmas alone or whatever so you know if you want…” Ronan trailed off. Adam continued to stare at him.

  
Adam cleared his throat, “was that what you were arguing about? Inviting me to the Barns for Christmas? Ronan, that’s so…You didn’t have to do that-”

  
“Okay chill Tiny Tim, I didn’t save Christmas,” Ronan interrupted harshly, “the true Christmas miracle comes with the screwing-with-Declan part of the plan.”

  
Then Ronan proceeded to outline, still staring resolutely at Adam’s ceiling, the contents of his phone call with Declan and his rough plan for vengeance. How Declan had invited his latest girlfriend home for the holidays, how it had always just been family, how inviting Adam to stay at the Barns over winter break would conveniently allow Adam to spend Christmas surrounded by actual people as well as give Ronan some company in what he was sure would be an unbearably uncomfortable week with just Declan, Declan’s latest fling, and Matthew to mediate.

  
Adam was slightly amazed at how thoroughly Ronan had thought this through, there was only one problem with his plan as far as Adam could see, and for once it was the absence of rash actions. Frowning slightly, he asked, “I’m kind of afraid to ask, but where does screwing with Declan come in?”

  
To Adam’s surprise, Ronan turned slightly pink. “You’d be coming as my date,” he said bluntly. One brief pause later, and then too quickly, “It wouldn’t really be a date, of course, but just me bringing a guy home for Christmas would drive Declan fucking nuts considering he just informed me that he’s only inviting whats-her-face because they’re in a ‘serious, mature relationship with the potential for long-term commitment’,” Ronan made liberal use of air quotes, “even though they’ve been dating for all of three weeks and he probably just wants to exploit the season of mistletoe. Apparently, this holiday is for ‘very significant others’ only and Declan won’t know how to react if I actually bring someone, it’d mess up his whole playing-house shit. Declan’s always been a dick about me liking guys so I figured now’s a good time for me to be a dick about him liking girls.”

  
Adam blinked. It actually was one of Ronan’s better plans, although that wasn’t saying much. Adam didn’t know what it said about him that he almost always ended up going along with Ronan’s ideas, even though they usually ended with him having sustained some type of bodily harm.

  
“Would that be weird? Us pretending to date?” Adam asked.

  
“Why would that be weird?” Ronan looked at Adam a bit too forcefully, an unnamed dare in his eyes.

  
A beat passed. “Yeah I could do that,” Adam said slowly, “I mean, as long as I don’t have to get your ungrateful ass a present.” Both boys went back to their previously relaxed postures. Ronan’s face held a faint smile as he mentally traced the glow-in-the-dark constellations the gang had pasted on Adam’s ceiling as a housewarming gift when he had first moved into his apartment. Adam was pretty sure Ronan had snuck in a phallic shape somewhere amongst the rest of the stars.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the next chapter should be up pretty quickly and we can get into the good stuff


	2. Driving and Kinky Handcuffs (A Plan Takes Shape)

Adam looked over at Ronan driving, hands relaxed on the steering wheel and head vaguely nodding in time to the shitty music he had blasting through the car speakers. School had let out for winter break hours before and they were driving to the Barns. Adam reached over and turned down the EDM that was currently putting him in danger of losing hearing in his good ear. Before Ronan could protest, Adam asked, "So what's the plan?".

  
Ronan spoke with slow sarcasm, "Well, right now we call this driving, Parrish, and eventually, we'll drive all the way to our destination-"

  
Adam cut him off, "Don't be a dick, I meant how are we going to screw with Declan? If we want to make this convincing we're going to need to plan out the details of our 'relationship'."

  
Ronan looked slightly taken aback, “I kinda thought we’d just wing it.”

  
“No offense to Chainsaw, but ‘winging it’ is not going to work to convince Declan we’re dating. I mean, he’s seen us together before, if we don’t act any different he’s going to assume you just made this up to piss him off…”

  
For some reason, Ronan seemed more angry than the situation warranted; “Well obviously you’re the expert at lying so why don’t you just tell me your plan,” he snapped.

  
“What is that supposed to mean? This was your idea, remember?”

  
“Yeah, I know! Just tell me your fucking plan!” Ronan’s hands were tight on the steering wheel, his knuckles standing out in high relief.

  
“Well,” Adam began, obviously annoyed, “it doesn’t seem funny anymore…”

  
Ronan reached over to turn the music back up, paused mid-action, and returned his hand to grip the steering wheel again. “Adam, I swear-”

  
“Okay, fine, just shut up!” Adam glanced at Ronan and then away, “So when it came time to open presents, I thought, you know, since we’re supposed to be this obnoxious couple, wouldn’t it be funny if you opened my present-”

  
Ronan growled, “you didn’t have to get me anything.”

  
“I know, shut up,” Adam continued without missing a beat, “and I had gotten you a pair of those, um,” Adam hesitated slightly, breaking his gaze from the windshield and looking at Ronan, “you know, those kinky handcuffs,” he said, too quickly.

  
A stunned silence reigned over the car. Abruptly the previous tension broke, and Ronan burst into laughter. “You want me,” Ronan wheezed around guffaws of laughter, “to open a pair of handcuffs, on Christmas, in front of my family? Jesus fucking Christ, Matthew would be so scarred.” More laughter bubbled up and broke the surface, “What are they, like, fur-lined?”

  
At this, Adam gave into uncontrollable laughter too. As soon as the two were nearly able to catch their breath, Adam answered; “The funny thing is, they actually are,” Ronan burst into another round of laughter. Adam was vaguely aware that they were speeding but couldn’t bring himself to care. “Do you want to see them?”

  
Ronan just shook his head, the car gradually returning to an almost normal speed. “I will never, ever, let you live this down, Parrish.”

  
“I probably should have expected that.” Now that both boys had mostly regained control over themselves, Adam thought it was safe to bring back up the topic at hand, “Okay, but really if we’re going to seem like a couple, you can’t call me Parrish all the time. And we should probably draw up some ground rules.”

  
So together, Adam and Ronan came up with ground rules for the next week they would spend holed up at the Barns together in order to best appear annoyingly in love. Written in Adam’s cramped handwriting, it was decided that they should always maintain at least one point of contact (“Get ready for some mad hand holding skills, Parrish”), try to one up any story brought up by Declan or his girlfriend about their relationship (“We may be at the Barns, but we’re doing Christmas my way- competitively”), and call each other increasingly ridiculous pet names (“Does ‘shithead’ count as a pet name?”). By the time they pulled up to the Barns, Declan’s car was already there and Matthew, Declan, and Declan’s girlfriend were undoubtedly already inside. Adam and Ronan had a plan of action and were ready to steal Christmas one obnoxious lovesick look at a time.

  
Holding hands, Adam stopped Ronan before they reached the door, “Oh, and can I kiss you? It’d probably make this more believable and I brought mistletoe just in case.” On second thought, maybe Ronan wasn’t so ready to implement this plan after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay I promise the next chapter will actually be them at the Barns, like seriously I pinky-swear there won't be any more exposition. Also this is super dialogue heavy, what else is new


	3. How the Lynch Stole Christmas (A Plan Enters its First Phase)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jeez I just titled this chapter with a pun so you know its gonna be great. jk. what is this

Ronan and Adam walked into an almost idyllic scene. In the living room, Declan sat on a couch with what was clearly his girlfriend’s head resting in his lap, Matthew sprawled on the floor in front of them. Matthew was reading, Declan softly murmuring to the girl utilizing him as a pillow. The image was too peaceful for Ronan’s liking, his hand squeezed Adam’s slightly tighter when his gaze fell on Declan.

Adam attempted to linger in the doorway. Were scenes like this one what Ronan’s childhood had been full of at the Barns? Adam couldn’t reconcile the quiet with the boy beside him, pulling on his hand to barrel into the room and badger his older brother.

“Well isn’t this nice,” Ronan said acidly, “but I’ve gotta say, I’m surprised. Declan, I’ve heard so much about your ‘serious, mature relationship’ I was expecting a ninety-year-old.” Declan’s girlfriend, decidedly not ninety years old, sat up from her relaxed pose. Ronan addressed her next, “Remind me, what’s your name again?”

The peaceful scene had shattered, Ronan’s sharp edges cutting it to shreds. Declan gave a warning of “Ronan,” as his girlfriend answered Ronan’s question.

“Missy,” the girl said, inserting some venom of her own into the word, “Missy Hapsall.” Her gaze dropped to Ronan and Adam’s still entwined hands and then exchanged a look with Declan. She didn’t ask Adam’s name.

Adam privately wondered how Ronan had acquired a talent for so quickly turning a calm situation into a hostile one. It might have been genetic, Adam mused, watching as Declan interrupted what appeared to be a staring contest with Ronan to say tersely, “Matthew and I were going to give Missy a tour of the place if you guys want to join.”

“Sure,” Ronan answered easily, pulling Adam closer to him and slinging an arm around his shoulders. “Not that we need one, Adam’s been here so many times. Isn’t that right, Schnuckums?” Adam resisted the urge to laugh as Ronan gently jostled him. Matthew’s eyebrows rose from his place on the floor. Declan stood, pulling Missy with him, and strode quickly to the door leading outside. Matthew followed them, Ronan and Adam bringing up the rear of the group.

As the two followed the tense little tour group, Ronan’s arm still around Adam’s shoulders, Adam silently mouthed “Schnuckums?” at Ronan. He could feel Ronan’s answering laughter vibrate through his chest.

...

The Declan-led tour of the Barns was almost over, and the group was heading upstairs in the main house. Everyone had become more relaxed over the course of the tour, although Declan’s face still tightened whenever he glimpsed Ronan and Adam casually touching. Adam had whispered in Ronan’s ear a total of three times so far just to test if Declan would react each time (he did).

“So the bedrooms are up here, Missy, you can stay in my room, and Adam you can take the couch in the media room,” Declan explained.

Ronan, of course, couldn’t let this comment go without objecting, some laughter in his voice,“C’mon, Missy’s going to be staying in your room but my Pumpkin Pie here gets the couch? That’s not very progressive of you, Declan.”

Declan, clearly trying to restrain his annoyance in front of his girlfriend, settled for rolling his eyes and answering, “Ronan, you have a twin bed in your room.”

“Hey, we don’t mind,” came Ronan’s reply with, to everyone’s shock, an accompanying slap to Adam’s ass.

“Shi- Sugar!” Adam recovered first but barely, “That’s really okay, _Sugar_ , I don’t mind sleeping on the couch.”

An awkward pause stretched out before Matthew squeaked out, “Well, problem solved I guess.” The tour ended rather quickly after that.

...

Everyone had gone their separate ways before dinner, and Ronan and Adam had ended up in the barn full of sleeping cows. As soon as the door closed behind them, Ronan dropped Adam’s hand and began to cackle.

Gasping for air, he asked, “Did you see Declan’s face? Shit, I thought I was going to blow the whole thing and start laughing right there!”

Adam remained standing where he had stopped. “You slapped my ass!” he exclaimed indignantly. “You actually slapped my ass! That was not part of the ground rules!”

Ronan, who had recovered somewhat and was watching the cows, looked over his shoulder to say matter-of-factly, “You asked if you could kiss me, I figured this was on par.”

Adam shrugged, still looking slightly exasperated, but joined Ronan when he went to sit on one of the benches that lined the walls. Adam automatically sat with his right shoulder touching Ronan’s left, the sides of their bodies flush together. Once you set a rule to always be touching someone in front of others, it was easy to fall into the habit even when alone.

“Just give me a warning next time, okay?”

Ronan turned his head to face Adam. With shoulders touching and heads resting on the wall behind them, there really was hardly any space between them at all. Ronan’s gaze dropped to Adam’s lips, barely two inches from his own.

“C’mon, Parrish, where’s the fun in that?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may have written this quickly and with a fever yikes


	4. Goodnight, Sweetheart (Is it Really Just a Plan?)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ronan, did we just accidentally become a real couple?”

Dinner was a tense affair but everyone seemed too tired to drag out the hostilities for very long. Adam thought he had really gotten the hang of screwing with Declan, it was all fairly predictable. Ronan would do something absurd like climbing into Adam’s lap to reach the salt rather than just ask him to pass it, Declan would clench his jaw and scoot ever closer to Missy. Adam was pretty sure Declan was going to end up in her lap by the end of dinner, there truly were two obnoxious couples at the table. Ronan and Adam took advantage of this fact by telling increasingly ridiculous couple stories that Declan and Missy couldn’t compete with; by the end of dinner, Adam had apparently surprised Ronan with a couples cliff-diving expedition. Twice. Finally Matthew’s yawns got too frequent to ignore, and Declan’s face had turned an alarming shade of red, and dinner ended.

  
Ronan and Adam had been hanging out in Ronan’s room for a few hours afterward, mostly laughing at their own ridiculousness. In an inverted parody of their usual ritual, Adam was lying on the floor beside Ronan’s bed.

  
“Tomorrow, we’ve got to have s’mores. Do you know how cheesy and romantic bonfires are?” Adam suggested.

  
Ronan leaned on one elbow to look down at him, “You know Parrish, I would not have guessed that you’d be the pyro between the two of us.”

  
Adam smiled, “I’m just saying;” he stood up, “anyway, I’m going to go to bed. Night, Lynch.”

  
Ronan answered in a loud sing-song as Adam opened his door, “Goodnight, sweetheart!”

  
…

  
Only minutes later, Ronan’s door opened again, finding him shirtless and lying on his bed with the lights off. He opened his eyes to discover Adam standing in the middle of his room.

  
“You know you don’t really have to sleep on the floor, right? The Lynches are actually familiar with the concept of hospitality, unlike you and your shit box apartment.”

  
Adam let a beat pass without answering. “I’m pretty sure Declan and What’s-Her-Name are about to have sex on the couch I’m supposed to sleep on.”

  
“Oh,” a humorless chuckle dropped from Ronan, “Well, some of the Lynches are, anyway. For instance, I can assure you Matthew would have never put you in this position.”

  
Adam rolled his eyes. “C’mon, Ronan, give me a pillow.”

  
Ronan didn’t move. He regarded Adam for a moment before replying “I meant it, you know. You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

  
“It’s really not-”

  
“Get in, Parrish.” It was an order that Ronan delivered as he scooted close to the wall to make room for Adam on his small childhood bed. “Besides, you sleeping on the floor will never convince Declan if he decides to come into my room tomorrow morning.”

  
“You could lock your door.”

  
“Get in, Parrish.”

  
There was a rustle as Adam pulled his shirt over his head and cautiously climbed onto Ronan’s bed. He didn’t know why he was being so careful, Ronan and he had shared a bed plenty of times before. Maybe it was because it was usually Ronan insisting on sleeping on the floor, not wanting to inconvenience Adam in any way. Was that all Ronan’s insistence that Adam sleep on a bed really amounted to anyway? A misplaced sense of hospitality that stemmed from pity? Adam lay down as far away from Ronan as he could without falling off the bed.

  
Maybe Ronan noticed because he offered, softly, “That really is shitty of them; sorry Declan is an asshole.”

  
Adam scooted marginally closer. “It’s fine Ronan, it’s probably just revenge for the whole ass-slapping incident earlier today.”

  
“Sorry about that too.” Ronan was looking straight at the ceiling. Adam was looking straight at Ronan. He scooted slightly farther towards the center of the bed. Suddenly, everything about the situation became a lot less funny to Ronan.

  
“Ronan, why’d you ask me to be your date this week?”

  
“Well, I couldn’t exactly ask Gansey, could I?” Ronan answered harshly, still looking at the ceiling.

  
Adam abandoned that line of conversation. He knew Ronan didn’t have an answer he could freely give for why he wanted to screw with Declan so badly on one of the few weeks he had of his broken family coming together.

  
“Ronan, look at me.” Ronan did. Adam could just make out the blue of his eyes in the dark. Adam scooted even closer, until there was almost no room between the two of them on the small bed.

  
“Adam, what?” Ronan was still trying to sound annoyed, but the effect was ruined when his voice came out a whisper.

  
“We should probably practice, you know, just in case,” Adam closed the distance between them. Adam kissed Ronan gently, breaking away after a few seconds to rest their foreheads together. His breath puffed across Ronan’s lips as he asked, “Was this why?”

  
This time it was Ronan who initiated the kiss, bringing his right hand up to grip the back of Adam’s head, his fingers curling into Adam’s hair as he surged forward to capture Adam’s lips with his own. This second kiss was less gentle, both boys moving more desperately against each other. Adam bit Ronan’s bottom lip, Ronan groaned into Adam’s mouth. Hands roamed over bare chests. Adam pulled back suddenly from where he had been kissing Ronan’s jawline.

  
“Ronan, did we just accidentally become a real couple?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I couldn't really tell if this moved naturally but there you go. Also I literally just remembered that Aurora is a character so please ignore the fact that there's no mention of where she is


	5. A Morning Confrontation (This Wasn't Part of the Plan)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ha! I finally got the next chapter up!

Ronan woke up with Adam’s arm flung over his chest and a large amount of Adam’s hair in his mouth. He was ridiculously happy. He wanted to punch something. Before Adam could wake, Ronan was out of bed, pulling on a shirt and heading for the bathroom. He needed to wash the taste of kissing Adam out of his mouth before he exploded. Unfortunately, Adam woke up, hair rumpled and peaceful, reaching out automatically for a boy who had already left. Ronan couldn’t help it, he lingered in the room.

Adam’s eyes gradually focused on the figure standing in the middle of the room, “Ronan. Hey. Can we talk?”

“I need to pee so…” Ronan wasn’t looking at Adam for more than a few seconds at a time.

Adam frowned and sat up. “Okay, but Ronan, about last night-”

Ronan interrupted, “Look, if you’re going to reject me can you at least wait until after I’ve gone to the fucking bathroom? Thanks.” Before Adam could respond, Ronan had turned on his heel and was out the door. Adam fell back onto the bed with a sigh.

By the time Ronan returned, Adam had gotten dressed and was sitting at Ronan’s desk. The first time Adam had been to the Barns, he had been a little surprised that pre-Monmouth Ronan had owned a desk. Sometimes Adam was surprised that pre-Monmouth Ronan, pre-tragedy Ronan, had even existed. Adam began talking immediately after Ronan walked into the room.

“What were you talking about before you walked out?” Ronan sat down on his bed and said nothing. Adam continued, “I’m not going to reject you… why would you even think that? Lynch, what’s wrong with you; I kissed you first, remember?”

Ronan answered slowly, “Yeah. I remember. But I also know that we were both tired and that I had dragged us into a weird situation and that this is just you feeling sorry because I have a shitty relationship with my family.” He closed his eyes, “Look, this whole fake-dating idea was fucking stupid and we should just go tell Declan that it was a prank, I’m sure he’ll let me live it down by New Year’s.”

Adam was quiet for a minute before joining Ronan on his bed. Adam could feel himself getting annoyed; an obtuse and spiteful Ronan was a regular occurrence, but it never failed to make Adam lose his patience. He took a deep breath and said, “Okay, well for one, I let myself be dragged into this situation, don’t give yourself so much credit. Two, don’t talk to me about shitty family situations. And three, if you don’t want to actually date me that’s fine, but hell if we’re going to give Declan the satisfaction of being right.”

Ronan said nothing. Ronan frequently failed to follow the normal rules of conversation, but Adam still couldn’t read his prolonged silences. Adam wanted to prompt Ronan into replying but was too stubborn to give him the satisfaction. Adam wanted nothing more at the moment than to stare Ronan down, but Ronan still stupidly had his eyes closed. Maybe kissing Ronan had been a horrible idea and Adam had ruined a friendship with one of the few people he valued in his life. Adam stared at Ronan anyway, even though Ronan wasn’t looking back.

Ronan opened his eyes and met Adam’s gaze. Ronan said, “If you’re lying you need to tell me right now.”

Adam sighed. “Are you always this much of a shit first thing in the morning?”

“Ask Gansey.”

Another stubborn silence fell over the conversation, this time initiated by Adam’s lack of a response, although he was also the first to break it.

“I’m not lying.”

Then Ronan broke into a smile, a rare and genuine one, and gently cuffed Adam on the shoulder. He mocked lightly, “One of the greatest pranks of all time, and you had to go and fall for me, Parrish.”

Adam scoffed, “As I recall, it wasn’t me asking you to go on a romantic holiday getaway.”

“Piss up a tree, Parrish.” But even as he said it Ronan was leaning towards Adam, and soon the two were kissing again, fully awake this time. Adam had just placed his hand on Ronan’s jaw when Ronan’s door was flung open. Adam and Ronan pulled apart to the sound of Declan exclaiming something about breakfast and it being too early for him to manage Ronan.

“Well, now that this,” Adam said, gesturing between himself and Ronan as Declan stormed away, “is allowed, I can think of several more ways to mess with Declan.”

Ronan stared back at Adam. “You’re really cool with still screwing with Declan even though we’re, um…” Ronan trailed off, raising his eyebrows.

Adam rolled his eyes. “That shit show we’ve been giving Declan isn’t this; it isn’t real. Making out with you hasn’t made me lose my sense of humor; being obnoxious and ridiculous is funny and Declan’s an asshole.”

“Say that again,” Ronan demanded.

“What?” Adam asked, “That Declan’s an asshole?”

“I’ve never liked you more than I do right now.”

“You’re an idiot,” Adam said.

A voice came loudly through the first floor, “Hey lovebirds! Breakfast!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um please tell me if you like this because I am uncertain


	6. Adam Parrish Can Build a Bonfire (To See a Plan Through)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall I think this might be the last chapter can you believe I finally finished this?

If this was a movie, Ronan thought, this would be the cheesy montage part. He always hated those parts, if you were watching a movie that actually had a cheesy montage, that was a shitty movie to begin with and you should probably buy better taste. But living in that cliché turned out to be much more enjoyable. Granted, it wasn't all roses and Ferris wheels, and Ronan liked to think that their shitty montage would be set to the tune of the Murder Squash Song (even though Adam probably would have objected). But the impression of a series of romantic shenanigans remained the same. Now that they had owned up to their feelings, the fun could really begin. Adam felt the same, it appeared, or at least couldn’t resist a competition.

“So Declan, got anything special planned for the day?”

Ronan marveled at Adam’s casual tone. Adam Parrish was sitting on his lap on the couch of his childhood home. Adam Parrish. Casually asking Declan about his plans and sitting on Ronan’s lap, squeezing Ronan’s hand. Ronan reminded himself that this was part of the game, but he had to wonder where the line blurred. How much of this was about Adam liking him and how much was about hating Declan? Ronan didn’t want any part of his and Adam’s relationship to be about Declan so he quickly shut down that line of thought. What had he gotten himself into?

A bonfire, apparently. Ronan was pulled from his thoughts as Adam tightened his hand on Ronan’s and said “It was actually Ro’s idea, a big romantic bonfire with s’mores, isn’t that right, my little marshmallow?”

Ronan glared at Declan for no good reason. “Yup.”

Declan glared back but managed to maintain a condescendingly responsible tone of voice, Ronan was begrudgingly impressed. Declan’s attitude wasn’t his particular brand of shitbag, but Ronan had to admire the effort nonetheless. Declan said “Actually, I don’t know if that’s a good idea. Isn’t it wildfire season?”

Ronan went for a less nuanced shitbag approach. He yelled “SCROOGE! SCROOGE! SCROOGE!” until Adam covered his mouth with his hand.

“Actually,” Adam spoke up, “wildfire season ended in November, so we should be fine.”

Ronan smiled behind Adam’s hand, then licked it just because he could. Adam instinctively yanked his hand away, only to have Ronan pull it back up to his lips. Ronan vaguely registered Declan storming out of the room as Adam put a finger in his mouth.

…

He was driving at a speed most cops would call reckless, Adam was beside him, and he could hear Matthew’s off-key singing coming from the backseat. Ronan was happy. They had left the Barns in search of s’mores supplies. Ronan had woken up Matthew with a pillow thrown at his face- the blow was delivered with an oddly gentle expression for someone who was throwing an object at a sleeping person- and they had gone.

At the store Adam cornered Ronan in the refrigerated goods section and kissed him thoroughly. Ronan broke the kiss to say, “Really? In the packaged meats aisle? Subtle, Parrish.”

Adam tried and failed to look exasperated. “Shut up, Ronan.” He kissed Ronan once more before pulling away so they could go find Matthew.

…

Even after grocery shopping- if allowing Matthew to buy every candy at the store counted as grocery shopping- Ronan and Adam still had most of the day to kill before dark and the bonfire they had somehow volunteered to build. Adam had hoped to spend it watching cheesy movies, it would have accomplished his goals of both teasing Ronan about the time Adam had caught him watching “Midnight in Paris” alone in Monmouth and also provide ample opportunity to rub their own cheesy romance in Declan’s face. But Ronan had other plans which apparently didn’t include Adam.

Adam couldn’t believe it, Ronan and he start actually dating ( _wait,_ were _they dating?_ ), and now Ronan didn’t want to spend time with him? This was the same guy who had slept on his floor for most of last year, right?

“Can you chill, Parrish, I just need to sleep.”

Adam mumbled something including the phrase “Oh, _you_ need to sleep!”

Ronan got up from where he had flung himself onto his bed and wrapped his arms around Adam’s waist. “You can’t stay with me because I’m dreaming a present for you, you idiot. But it is pretty hot that you’ve gotten all clingy… What are you like when you’re jealous? Now that’s something I want to see.”

Adam turned around and said, “No you don’t.”

“I don’t know Parrish, I’m pretty sure I do since you getting jealous over me would basically be the sexiest thing to have ever happened to me.”

“Now that’s just sad.”

“Fuck you, Adam.”

“That’s more like it.”

Suddenly both Ronan and Adam stopped where they were, inches from each other’s mouths. They had been getting closer throughout the conversation, but both seemed to realize the implications of Adam’s last words at the same time. Ronan’s breath caught and he flung himself away from Adam, not looking at him as he threw himself back onto his bed. “Well, I better get dreaming,” he yelled over-loudly.

Adam winced and then rolled his eyes, “good luck, it’s going to be pretty hard to beat those kinky handcuffs.” He walked to the doorway and then said, erroneously, “Goodnight, Ronan.”

…

Unsurprisingly, Adam proved to be competent to a task he had been set, and a bonfire was roaring in one of the Barns’ fire pits by nightfall. It had been a good day. Becoming an actual couple with Ronan was simple in the best possible way, simple in the way that Adam leaned against Ronan on the log they shared, Ronan for once not analyzing how Declan would react. Simple in its soft weight that pressed on his chest.

All at once, Ronan did not care that Declan and Missy were also sharing a log. He cared about Matthew, who was currently telling a story involving an abundance of gesticulations and pauses to catch his breath from laughing, and he cared about the campfire, stupidly and sentimentally, and its appropriateness on Christmas Eve. Ronan was struck by the rare rightness of the situation, and missed his dad sharply and grabbed Adam’s hand. Matthew finished the story, it had been a good one despite his own interruptions. Ronan leaned down and whispered, right in Adam’s ear, “Fuck the plan,” and then, louder, “Adam and I are dating.”

Matthew and Missy looked confused, but Declan just looked annoyed. He had looked peaceful before, which surprised Ronan, but what surprised Ronan more was the fact that he had liked that Declan had looked peaceful.

Declan gave Ronan a withering look. He said, “Yeah, Ronan, we all know, you’ve certainly made sure of that.”

But Ronan pressed forward, he didn’t know why this was important to him. “No you don’t, this was all an act before, I was just screwing with you,” he grinned, “it was fucking funny too. But yeah. Now it’s, not,” he finished somewhat lamely.

Declan just looked at him. So did Adam. Ronan looked down at his feet. Declan sighed and said, “You’re an idiot, Ro,” but not unkindly. Matthew giggled. Ronan could still feel Adam’s weight against him and he knew it was alright.

“This doesn’t mean I’m not going to get you back.”

Well, mostly alright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tell me if you think this is disjointed or nice things or both
> 
> also the raven king killed me


End file.
